what do you do in your spare time?

when the dog bites, when the bee stings

these are a few of my favorite things:

1: my new beautiful set of mark twain books

2: feist

3: pencil drawings of birds. not necessarily birds themselves. the beak thing scares me a little.

4: manalive, by G.K. Chesterton- it's amazing! please read it.

5: spud! (from bob the builder) he's a super spud, man of straw!

6: cinderella blue! there is no possible way to watch cinderella and not be happy by the end!

7: greece. i'm going to bicycle across greece someday.

8: twinkle lights.

9: raisin bran. it's so happy!

10: cowboy boots. mine have flowers and purple butterflies on them!

"Leaving aside the mysteries and the inequities of human talent, brains,
taste, and reputations, the matter of art in photography may come down to this:
it is the capture and projection of the delights of seeing; it is the defining
of observation full and felt."

-Walker Evans

against hope believed in hope

ever feel like you just swallowed your heart? i get that way when i think about all the tiny things that used to make me so sad and so miserable. not now. i got that way cause i didn't have any idea why they were happening to me. i didn't even know why the good things were happening, because i didn't know i had a purpose. i know i do now, so everything pales in comparison. everything is suddenly so alive and so beautiful. even pain is, cause how else can you know you're alive? pain and filth is our only way of knowing what is truly beautiful.

a dear friend told me once that he believed God allows hard things to happen to teach us things about ourselves, about others, about life, and about Him. this is very true, and is something that has helped me greatly. (thank you)

there is nothing too great for Him to handle, so don't blame God or forsake Him when you think something has gone very wrong. He is faithful. more faithful than any of us and it is arrogance to think otherwise. how can you expect to grow if you are never hurt?

Let Israel hope in the Lord, for with the Lord there is mercy, and with Him is plentious redemption.

the farm

be my escape

a very beautiful song by relient k.



I’ve given up on giving up slowly,
I’m blending in so you won’t even know me
apart from this whole world that shares my fate

This one last bullet you mention
is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away

And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
and I’ve been locked inside that house
all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
and that might be the death of me
And even though there’s no way of knowing where to go,
promise I’m going because

I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there

And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
and I’ve been locked inside that house
all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
and that might be the death of me
And even though there’s no way of knowing where to go,
promise I’m going because

I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
and I’ve been locked inside that house
all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
and that might be the death of me
And even though there’s no way of knowing where to go,
promise I’m going because

I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.


I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin

But so were You


So were You

some randomly selected pictures just because i like them. they are from singing school and my alley.

o Thou who changest not, abide with me

abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
the darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide.
when other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, o abide with me.

swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
change and decay in all around i see;
o thou who changest not, abide with me.

not a brief glance i beg, a passing word
but as Thou dwell'st with Thy disciples, Lord,
familiar, condescending, patient, free.
come not to sojourn, but abide with me.

come not in terrors, as the King of kings,
but kind and good, with healing in Thy wings;
tears for all woes, a heart for every plea.
come, Friend of sinners, thus abide with me.

Thou on my head in early youth didst smile,
and though rebellious and perverse meanwhile,
Thou hast not left me, oft as I left Thee.
on to the close, o Lord, abide with me

i need thy prescence every passing hour.
what but Thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

i fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;
in life, in death, o Lord, abide with me.

"if anyone asks, we were out tipping tractors."

for a culture so focused on originality and "being yourself", there is a suprising lack of authenticity and originality. maybe the problem is that those who promote it do not allow for there being more than two kinds of originality. they say "ok, so you want to be yourself. here is how to be yourself." (or maybe theres a book called "being yourself: for dummies" hah.) its just silly!


(they actually sell hats with this logo. man. cows are just so funny.)


ok, a question. why have i recently been forgetting to use any punctuation? i think that maybe its because email has become the main way that i communicate with people, and that must stop. so i think that i will now write more letters (yes, i know that i have said that many times, but i mean it, and i am determined.)

it just passed me by

from bad luck i'm walkin away
i'm not gettin stuck
i'm not gonna stay
to good things i'm moving ahead
i'm tired of dyin
i'm livin instead

and once in a while
i'll wake up
wondering why we gave up
but once in a while
comes and it fades away

the sun's up
and lighting the sky
i never could see it
it just passed me by

good things keep movin along
i'm not lookin backward
for something thats gone

once in a while
i'll wake up
wonderin why we gave up
and once in a while
comes and fades away

i dont know what love is
i'm selfish and lazy
and when i get scared
i can act like i'm crazy

when i think of your kisses
i'm still gonna smile
i'm still gonna miss you
once in a while

once in a while i'll wake up
wonderin why we gave up
but once in a while comes
and fades away

good things keep moving ahead
i'm tired of dyin
i'm living instead

-once in a while
madeline peyroux