This problem is between my two dear friends and neighbors, namely Cecil A. Beatley and Percival E. Worthington. I do not blame dear Percy, but rather believe the fault lies with Cecil.
The other day I took my gnomely friends out on a walk, and as they reached the top of a rather dirty hill, paused to take their picture...
ah, the appearance of innocence. Could anyone tell from Cecil's tranquil expression what terrible deed he was plotting? no. You must understand, Cecil is not an evil gnome, but he does hate spunk so. This hatred for all spunk, though a good thing in moderation, pushes him to judgemental remarks and intolerance. Words can hurt, Cecil. So, as they were standing there, Percy complimented Cecil's beard, and tried to water it with his watering can.
This was a bad idea.
No, Cecil, No.