yeah, well, sewing machine, so's your face.

i'm sewing.


it's not going so well.


i actually just stooped to making up a stupid poem about it.

grant me the serenity to not stomp on the seams i cannot remove
the courage to rethread the machine when it runs out
and the wisdom to not kick the sewing machine in the face.

or ... in the... bobbin.



niebuhr would not approve.

just so you know...

... i'm insanely jealous of all my friends who just started back to school today.

i've been going for two and a half weeks already! lucky beaver butt.

um... what?

i drove about 9 hours today. yech.

while i was driving i took some time to pray, asking God if i'm on the right path, if i'm heading towards the right things, planning the right plans... i asked for some sign that i'm doing the right thing...

... and then i got a speeding ticket.

ok. hmm. that's... weird. i never speed. i've never gotten a ticket.

... and then i saw a star drop and fall into the field next to me.

huh?!

i'm getting mixed messages!

--

(i'll write about the weekend of wonder soon, i'm too tired right now)

(and about the ticket... i'm going to try and hold off on the rant i'd like to go on, and spare you. but yes, i am annoyed.)

why i hate math

firstly, why should i like it? i mean really, 7 8 9. how can i forgive him for that? 9 was my friend!

secondly and more to the point... i think math dislikes me. worse than that, it laughs at me. the solutions to the problems see me as stupid, they say "oh, i know the answer to this and i'm just a number... the solution is just a simple outworking of the universal logic which she ought to understand! this is the world she by creation fits into, how can she possibly not comprehend its logic yet?" it, in its inflexible rightness, shows me just how little i know about how the world i've spent and will continue to spend my life in works. no matter how hard i have tried, no matter how much knowledge of the world's logic i try to pick up, i'm still not stinkin good enough to do this seemingly simple problem.

beavers:1 tree-huggers: 0

the other day i was accosted by a violently adament tree-hugger with a bunch of flyers about how if students and businessmen would just stop double-spacing, we could save trees. at first this sounded logical... and then...ohhhh, wait a minute! avoiding the temptation of explaining the obvious illogicalness of his cause to him, i rushed past, avoiding eye contact. but now, in retrospect, i have a suggestion for him.

leave my double-spacing alone! i like the way it looks! instead, lets take a moment to think about what things on this planet are threatening the dwindling tree population. hmm... well, obviously the mass distribution of flyers which will probably never be read makes a glaring appearance on the list, and strikes me as highly ironic considering the large stack of them which my eco-conscious friend was brandishing. but lets think a bit more creatively... tonight, emily and i found the real source of the global paper scare-

THE BEAVER :
no, no, no... not that Beaver! this one:

consider his beady eyes and freakishly tiny ears... his near alien flappy tail and incredibly scary teeth. this, my friends, is a cold-sapped tree-killer. so i urge you...
save a tree, burn a beaver.

P.S.A.

or, Public Service Announcement.

ladies, tights/leggings are not intended to be worn as pants, and there is never and never will be a situation where it is even remotely appropriate to wear them as such!

(this PSA is brought on by after-class annoyance. today several of the more spunky girls in class did this awful thing, and it really really bugs me.)

wha?

ok, so everyone has heard the phrase "niceties", and you know what it means- little things people say that are nice to say but are just things to say to alleviate awkward moments... they bug me. but what about MEANITYS? seriously, people, i've heard more meanitys than nicities this week! a meanity is when someone makes a statement or a joke that is meant to be funny, and isn't true at all but they just said it because it was funny and in some other relationship it might possibly be true.

just because there could be someone in the world who would say that and mean it doesn't mean that you should say it!

example:

teenage guy 1: this chicken is really bad.
teenage guy 2: yeah, like my mom's cooking, like, all the time.

or

teenage girl 1: what do you think of teenage guy 1?
teenage girl 2: oh, i dunno, hes kinda oblivious and not that bright
teenage girl 1: yeah, but all guys are, right girl?

come on people!

hyperventilating

please, please, PLEEEEAASSE...

can i just hide under the covers until this week is over?


.

council to the overzealous

dear overzealous friends,

one of these days you may feel tempted while out running to push a little harder, go a few extra miles, go up a few extra hills - well, ok, you may be tempted to push a lot harder. my advice is to take out that temptation and drown it, then burn it, then gather up the remaining ashes and burn them. and then put them in snack-sized ziplock bags, put your snack bags in a treasure chest which is chained to an anvil, and drop it into the middle of the most unknown ocean you can find. after this you may even want to gather up every map which could lead someone to that ocean and shred them. and then destroy google maps. you get the general idea. from whence springs this knowledge of mine? yesterday i decided i would run twice as far as i usually do, and today my legs hurt so much that concentration on anything but the strange sensation that my muscles have a mind of their own, and that mind is bent on my destruction is impossible. even the slightest motion is oowwww! yeoowww.

so heed my advice, fair innocent overzealous friends. and as to my prescribed methods for destroying that temptation, be creative. if you have alternate ideas for how to destroy it, please do tell me. you never know, your comment could save legs all over the world.

how insulting!

A friend of mine sent me a link to a strange and interesting gadget by MyHeritage, called the face recognition system. You upload a picture to the program, it scans for faces, and compares the faces in the picture to pictures of celebrities. Today I thought I'd give it a try.

I really hope that its just a fluke, and all I did wrong was upload the wrong picture (i could only find 2 pictures of myself on my computer, and in the one i used i was talking and i had on daddy's old eighties glasses. the kind that almost cover your whole face. ). or maybe i'm just in denial. anyway, here are my results:

Johnny Depp

Robbie Williams

Vin Diesel

John Williams (surely this one is just because of the glasses?)


Do you blame me for being bothered by this?

"if anyone asks, we were out tipping tractors."

for a culture so focused on originality and "being yourself", there is a suprising lack of authenticity and originality. maybe the problem is that those who promote it do not allow for there being more than two kinds of originality. they say "ok, so you want to be yourself. here is how to be yourself." (or maybe theres a book called "being yourself: for dummies" hah.) its just silly!


(they actually sell hats with this logo. man. cows are just so funny.)


ok, a question. why have i recently been forgetting to use any punctuation? i think that maybe its because email has become the main way that i communicate with people, and that must stop. so i think that i will now write more letters (yes, i know that i have said that many times, but i mean it, and i am determined.)