rebecca

"if you think i'm one of those people who try to be funny at breakfast, you're wrong."

-from rebecca, by daphne du maurier

19 before 20

yesterday, when my lovey alessandra came over, we made our lists!
this is a little list of my goals for the year...inspired by elsie

i'm very happy with my goals. and i've already done one of the big-uns! pictures later explaining which one!

it's christmaaaaaaaaas!

i hope everybody had a happy christmas!

in my family, we love christmas with all our hearts... we have ever so many traditions. in the morning when we wake up, there is wassail in the crockpot... we always watch these two amazing disney christmas song singalong videos, one from the 50's and one from '93. the '93 one is SO my favorite. Hip Hop Noel? oh my. it's just the best thing of the whole world. watch it watch it and you'll see.



so, for christmas, i gave my sister and brother-in-law this vintage scrapbook/photo album from the early 40's. i found it in a vintage store, and knew i had to give it to them immediately - it's full of a young army couple's pictures of them together, their family, their friends, and some pictures he obviously mailed to her from war-zones in britain- pictures of bombed roads and his army friends walking around deserted towns with bulletholes in the buildings. one of the better parts - there's a letter in it from one of the country cousins, and i got their address from it and found out that the couple lived just a few miles from my sister and her husband. it's just... amazingness.

little did i know.

for christmas she gave me a vintage '34 journal/scrapbook, of the writings and and friend's notes of one "Beulah", chronicling her high school adventures and graduation and friendships.
from the same vintage store. from the same day.

uh. what? we're ridiculous.

also for christmas, my sister got a typewriter!
so that evening i got mine out and typed our 2011 aspirations. we had a veritable stenographer's pool! we like to think we're rather like these ladies

so that's a bit of our christmas!

in which a few little skating chipmunks decorate a tree

tis time for our annual layne and claire skating fun time! i love my dear adorable friend.
last year we bunburried english accents the whole time, wore ugly sweaters, and knocked over small children by accident ( a whole string of them...)

this year we are much older and more mature. we didn't fall once!

while skating, we were talking about change - specifically how much we've both changed since last year. so much has happened to both of us in the last year, and we've grown from it. both the bad and the good, so much of each has happened. and looking back i can see how all of it has changed me as a person, expanded my views, given me perspective and depth of person. and i guess that's the key to things - a good and happy life can be lived with plenty of bad events in with the good ones, so long as you let the experiences be. just... let them be. there is no need to tease them or bother them, or to revel in their sadness.

i've been thinking about that song, "empty your hands". we should just empty our hands of the experiences that changed us, so that we can hold new, beautiful things to our lives. the song is all about how much of life's present you miss if your hands are full of past. it is so comforting, really, how much we can change, adjust, and keep going in a year. it gives so much hope that each year i will progress, and become a better one to live. it used to scare me so much to think that there was no knowing what i would be like, or what my life would be like in 5 years, or even one year, but i love that now, because i know that each year, each new lesson i learn, each person i meet- they are all a part of whatever this whole life thing is for me, and they're supposed to be there.

we decided last year that the hugenormous tree in the middle of the rink was flown in by eagles. this year we discovered that, in fact, it was! and the ornaments? put on by little christmas chipmunks who carried them in their cheeks and scurried up the tree en masse.

(note in above picture just exactly how life is. next to adorable layne, a poor fallen noun. and she, oblivious... unknowing... naive. ah yes... too soon, as the song goes, will she know the world so wild.)

Art, pt... 3?

here is one of my final works for the design class i was in this semester... an abstracted color self-portrait.

(it's my favorite from the semester)

A Very Classy Birthday Up In Here

my birthday and my mums birthday are right next to each other, so for my 19th and her 50th we had a little birthday collaboration! sister deary and i decided we should have a Very Classy Birthday, complete with champagne and candles and carla bruni and pearls. so on went the 60's type outfits and the back-seam hose, on with our jacqueline pearls and fancy prom dresses!

...i with my cupcake and she with her cake...

and a most joyous time was had by all.

as for my 20 before 20... unfortunately it has been temporarily lost due (i believe) in part to the dear puppy. however a new years list is forthcoming, and everything from the 20 list is on there.

i'm all about classiness these days... my "life and style" as those girls on the go would say has morphed into something rather 1960's new york art student from the upper classes of the mid-west. which makes me happy.

Happy Christmas!

(feeding them hungry reindeers)

finality

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

got my grades back.

WAY better than i anticipated in the whole art/design area (b+!). final gpa? 3.75. (i think, you know, it all depends on my ability to do math... so... you know...)

whoop and hoorah!

next semester? i'm gonna work so hard, it'll blow everyone's MINDS. just you wait, 'enry.

take a ride on the reading railroad!

oh how i love monopoly. it encapsulates all those wonderful mid-western "work your way to the top with perserverance" qualities i mentioned before. there's just such a feeling of accomplishment in going from having 1 dollar to having every piece of property on the board, hotels on all of them, loads of money, and a whole game-table full of people who are terrified to roll the dice for fear of paying rent to you.

oh dear heavens i'm turning into mr. potter what is wrong with me??

you gotta be kind to yourself

semester report! well not everything went as planned... i did really well all semester then at the very end my work for design class fell apart and thing got awful and dramatic and i worked for 36 hours without stopping, and...it was just...bad. anyway, as of thursday i am done for the year, so friday sister and i hopped in edie and popped over to memphis for a graduation and some much needed fun. i haven't really seen anyone since school started...so...ya know...hooray.

also a big part if it for me was a)needing to be around friends to get myself back to being myself, and b) needing a distraction from my scholarly identity crisis.

i feel as though who i am has been asleep for the last few months and i'm just waking up. it's mostly just because I've been busy and adjusting and stressed, but i think also never having a moment that was my own. so. this next semester i am going to actively try to make my life happier by making sure to listen to a happy cd every day, and to make sure to eat right, exercise and wake up early (i'm just happier when i do), and most importantly make sure that every day i make at least 10 minutes my own, by myself... even if it's just sitting drinking a cup of tea and looking out the window.

so. resolutions resolutions.

thanks to a grand old pal and his enheartening words of wisdom, my "i have no talent i'm terrible why do i even try" crisis is over... and i've moved on to the good old mid-western "get there through hard work and perserverance and grit" mindset i love so much. and i will (as against my true nature as it really is) try to stop beating my mind up for every mistake made and every failure and every little thing that wasn't the very best. sometimes we slip and fall, and i suppose thats what makes not falling so beautiful... but i'm going to start being kinder to myself.