those somalian pirates were visually disappointing. no eyepatches?

i want a boat. not just any boat... a smallish, beautiful, blue and white and brown wooden sailboat. with fancy ropes that i can pull, and a mop that i can swab the deck with, and one of those fancy helms. i'm just feeling the need to go a'boating today. i've only been on a few boats in my life, but all these experiences have been marvelous. one time in historical jamestown i got to walk around on a really big frigate replica, and it rocked around and creaked and was wonderful and i felt like it was finally adventure time, and that i might do anything... go off to some amazing place or do something incredible and historical that nobody else could have done. and then the tour guide came running over and made me stop weighing anchor. bah! where was his sense of adventure?