10 things i am doing right now

1- loading my cds to itunes. i really should load them as i get them, but whatever. i like my cds. they are good. i really need to return all these borrowed ones to dan though. whoops.

2- listening to feist by accident. i didn't mean to listen to it, but it started to upload and i went all add and "oh look a song i like! woohoo" and just started listening to it, and i am now feeling a bit sad as a result. and a little dickensian. that one has nothing to do with feist, i just feel like talking cockney for some reason.

3- doing spanish 1 homework. for some reason i never do anything but my vocab cards until the night before class. i think that makes me a ... dumbo. yes, indeed. a dumbo.

4- wishing my feet weren't asleep. because here in a minute its gonna HURT! yeoowwwwwcch! (expressive word there. i think i made it up.) do you know why it hurts when your feet start waking up? i do. and i think i shall tell you. when your feet go to sleep, what happens is your circulation is cut off so no blood goes to the nerves in your feet, so they don't send sense or pain signals to your brain. also, the blood flow to your feet is almost completely cut off, so the blood vessels contract (get smaller. just felt like clarifying. ;)) hey look he has a double chin! haha anyway, so the blood vessels get smaller cause theres nothing holding them out, and when the blood finally starts going back through them, they have to stretch out again, which hurts. thats the tingly painful feeling. feel smarter?

5- talking to mj! hey!! yer awesome!!! i miss you! you're about to read this too, so halloooo. her message to you: "i don't understand how someone could possibly lose their meatball because somebody sneezed." ah the cutting intellect, ah the stunning hypotheses' she and i reach in our conversations. i postulate that not even the wind created by the sneeze of even a large-lunged person such as pavoratti (rip. whoop did somethin tear? hope it wasnt my socks, cause i like those. no, really, we miss his voice.) could budge such an illustrious food article as a meatball from its seat atop the spagetti (and cheese). no indeed, perish the thought.

6- writing an essay about george washington's effect on the american character. its due friday. woohoo! i wrote the date down wrong and thought i have five more days than i do. i really liked those five days.

7- wishing i could hit a pause button so i could organise my room, learn a couple languages, and get all my schoolwork for the next year and a half done so that for the next year and a half i can just do crazy stuff like make costumes and dresses and learn to draw and go visit people and ooh maybe i could make a cd! i dont know of what, but of something. and i'd write that photography book i've been wanting to do, and i dont know what else. that would be fun.

8- taking a brief pause in all the above to think about how amazing post-it notes are. they really are great. i love them. i would live in a house made of them if that was structurally sound. but it isn't and imagine what would happen if it rained!

9- when i get a piano, i want it to be cherry apple red. because that would be pretty. and it should have cherry blossoms painted on it. because those are pretty too. i want to go to washington dc in the spring to see them. and maybe have some pizza while i'm there.

10- beginning to think about how i have to go run in the morning because i told myself i would, but i dont especially want to. but now i feel like i have to, cause i'll hate myself if i dont, and cecil alexander will mock me. again. hes gotten awfully cocky recently for someone who wears a pointy red wooden hat.

A Christmas Carol, by G.K. Chesterton

The Christ-child lay on Mary's lap,
His hair was like a light.
(O weary, weary were the world,
But here is all aright.)

The Christ-child lay on Mary's breast
His hair was like a star.
(O stern and cunning are the kings,
But here the true hearts are.)

The Christ-child lay on Mary's heart,
His hair was like a fire.
(O weary, weary is the world,
But here the world's desire.)

The Christ-child stood on Mary's knee,
His hair was like a crown,
And all the flowers looked up at Him,
And all the stars looked down

how insulting!

A friend of mine sent me a link to a strange and interesting gadget by MyHeritage, called the face recognition system. You upload a picture to the program, it scans for faces, and compares the faces in the picture to pictures of celebrities. Today I thought I'd give it a try.

I really hope that its just a fluke, and all I did wrong was upload the wrong picture (i could only find 2 pictures of myself on my computer, and in the one i used i was talking and i had on daddy's old eighties glasses. the kind that almost cover your whole face. ). or maybe i'm just in denial. anyway, here are my results:

Johnny Depp

Robbie Williams

Vin Diesel

John Williams (surely this one is just because of the glasses?)


Do you blame me for being bothered by this?

i can see the beauty
people, colours, and tin cans
rusted in a heap
brighter berries than before

only you see something
else - nobody else saw
some small beauty
in me

written last year

i would paint you a world
that i could love you in
without the distraction of me

but my talent goes only
to watercolour trees
and smudged pencil trees

i would sketch a self portrait
to make you think i'm perfect
and then maybe you could love me

but i can only do so much

what do you do in your spare time?

when the dog bites, when the bee stings

these are a few of my favorite things:

1: my new beautiful set of mark twain books

2: feist

3: pencil drawings of birds. not necessarily birds themselves. the beak thing scares me a little.

4: manalive, by G.K. Chesterton- it's amazing! please read it.

5: spud! (from bob the builder) he's a super spud, man of straw!

6: cinderella blue! there is no possible way to watch cinderella and not be happy by the end!

7: greece. i'm going to bicycle across greece someday.

8: twinkle lights.

9: raisin bran. it's so happy!

10: cowboy boots. mine have flowers and purple butterflies on them!

"Leaving aside the mysteries and the inequities of human talent, brains,
taste, and reputations, the matter of art in photography may come down to this:
it is the capture and projection of the delights of seeing; it is the defining
of observation full and felt."

-Walker Evans

against hope believed in hope

ever feel like you just swallowed your heart? i get that way when i think about all the tiny things that used to make me so sad and so miserable. not now. i got that way cause i didn't have any idea why they were happening to me. i didn't even know why the good things were happening, because i didn't know i had a purpose. i know i do now, so everything pales in comparison. everything is suddenly so alive and so beautiful. even pain is, cause how else can you know you're alive? pain and filth is our only way of knowing what is truly beautiful.

a dear friend told me once that he believed God allows hard things to happen to teach us things about ourselves, about others, about life, and about Him. this is very true, and is something that has helped me greatly. (thank you)

there is nothing too great for Him to handle, so don't blame God or forsake Him when you think something has gone very wrong. He is faithful. more faithful than any of us and it is arrogance to think otherwise. how can you expect to grow if you are never hurt?

Let Israel hope in the Lord, for with the Lord there is mercy, and with Him is plentious redemption.

the farm