Bizarre Superhero Contest

Today I am taking the accursed SAT. AAAA! Please pray for me. So while I'm away, enjoy these two videos from The Electric Company.

Firstly, here you can judge for yourself who is the better superhero.



Secondly, this video made my day. I love that the Yeti's MO is to sit down on the target. Could they arrest him for... intent to sit?

Jelly Belly,

or, Building a Better Body Image Through 70's Kids TV Shows.

If for some reason you aren't feeling so good about yourself today, watch this. It will make you feel GREAT!



(And yes, that is Morgan Freeman.)

Thankfulness

Well... yesterday was bad, but today I'm thankful. And, oddly enough, after yesterday's stupidity, the one thought that I couldn't get out of my head last night as I forced myself to destress by watching reruns of The Nanny (love, love, love) was .... I Want A Sandwich.

Yes, my gut instincts are not limited to fight or flight.

Fight or Flight or Sandwich.

And it reminded me of this delightful quote:

“Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.”

- Tina Fey, 30 Rock

How true.

So tonight I will have a sandwich. And then I'm sure I won't be sick anymore.

Today I am thankful for:

Sandwiches, of course.

Ginger ale.

Friends who send out-of-the-blue messages just because.

The ability to eat cheese.

Backpacks that don't hurt.

Socks.

Puffy blankets.

These things.

BB gun, and step on it!

This is not my negative space. I don’t want to pollute it with things-that-go-into-my-negative-space. But I thought perhaps I’d give you some insight into my day. Actually, my week.

As you know, I got a ticket Sunday night. Still smarting from that. Well, as I was already looking out on the week with a less-than-positive eye, this morning’s hours of studying for the SAT, then realizing I hadn’t finished my Spanish homework and rushing to finish ... this didn’t help with the positivity thing. After a piece of toast (I miss real breakfast), I rushed out the door and hurried to class, feeling bad about the day, the month, the life.

However, on the way I discovered a little cupcake bakery on the way, and made a mental note to stop by on my way home. Suddenly the day went up a few shades in brightness. Then my current happy song came on the radio. And I knew. The worm has turned, being trodden upon. Things were going up. ... or ... so I thought. Oh ho ho ho naive child that I was!

In class we were given an unanticipated test. I ate three lollipops. That was lunch. Then after class and study group, as I was driving home, the car made a loud POWkablang, let out a puff of dark smoke, and shuddered to a halt. When I, in desperation, tried to turn it on again, it shuddered and jumped for about 8 seconds, and then started moving on its own volition (yikes!) and then stopped again.

Hmm.

So I called a tow truck. It took him an hour and 15 minutes to get there. While I waited I realized I hadn’t eaten for real, so I got a donut from a really rude pastry maker. When he finally arrived, I turned my back on the donut for one second and a bird ate it.

Oh. Well. That’s super helpful.

Well, after I finally got home I started feeling sick. Which is impossible, as I’m pretty sure they make you take the SAT even if you’re sick. Throwing up. Fainting in the aisles. You gotta stay in there!

So the thing is... I know this will pass. Things will be better soon. Saturday night, probably. But right now... ugh. Bad. Things can only go up! I hate that my writing and conversation doesn’t involve verbs anymore... lives should have verbs in them! This will pass.

(You know, I think the worst part of the day may have been the donut/bird incident. Really. Is that sad?)

A lesson from your friends, No. II

The right honourable Cecil and Percy recieved a letter from our friend Caitlin, asking for help. Here it is!

Dear Cecil Alexander Beatley and Percival Eugene "Percy" Worthington--
Respected Gnomes, I seek your Gnomley council on a matter of grave import. Namely, socks-- upon which subject you (in the way of your kind) are rumored to be extremely learned (pronounced with two syllables, naturally, Cecil). My dilemma is as follows: since my youth, I have struggled with ambivalent feelings toward socks. Few things trouble me more than the way, after being for a while worn, they sag and bunch up in front of one's toes. Furthermore, one's feet begin to feel inhibited and smothered after a very short while. I wish ever so much to be fond of socks, but alas; I have tried in vain.
What wisdom can you offer me, beloved Gnomes?
Sincerest Regards--
--Caitlin Elizabeth Bruce Beauchamp
ps. I find I can overcome my distaste somewhat if the socks are sufficiently attractive and jolly-- stripes and spots preferred. Do you have any recommendations for particular socks, or manufacturers of socks, that satisfy your excellent taste? Many thanks --cebb

And their response:

Dear Caitlin,
This is indeed a matter of grave import. Thankfully you have come to the right place! Gnomes are famously experts on all things concerning knit-works.
What a sad life, a sockless life! We must fix this. The basis of a good relationship with socks is not the socks themselves, but how you feel about socks - where your heart is in relation to socks. Think of them not as binding, constricting, suffocating... but as hugging, comforting, protecting. A soft little shield around your feet. Also, do not think of the crinkling as sagging, as a sock-failure... think of it as personality! Gnomes believe that socks and other crafted objects have a personality all their own. Perhaps your socks just have the personality to crinkle and fold a bit! 'Tisn't nice to judge!

Now, other than simply adjusting your sock worldview, you may also wish to take a look at the kinds of socks you have. Are they mostly athletic socks? We gnomes do not believe these to be true socks, but indeed humanized versions. The true sock begins with yarn and needles, not a machine and a bolt of premade sock fabric. Some socks we find particularly alluring in both texture and aesthetic appeal:

We have not included many argyle knit socks in this collage, mainly because we believe them to be self-explanitory. They are the basis of all good sock collections. Go out and get your self some fair-isle-knit-esque socks. This will fix quite a lot.

We hope this has helped! Feel free to write again with any further questions!

Sincerely,

Cecil Alexander Beatley and Percival Eugene Worthington

P.S. From Percy: whatever you do, DON'T buy Alpaca fur socks. They are the ugliest most horrendous socks ever. Just don't! You'd regret it!!!!!!

(A note from Beatrice: The gnomes have so enjoyed helping with this problem, they would like to offer their services for future problem solving/question answering. They will answer even the silliest of questions! If you would like to ask the gnomes anything, just leave it in the comments and I'll deliver the message.)

To A Wiggy Spud

This is one of those rarest of posts ... a birthday post.

Happy 20th to Monolog! He's one of the good ones for sure! Once we were driving to Eddings Hill and I mentioned that I had always wanted to go to the delightfully huge cement yard statue lot ... and he did a u-turn and went back!

Also he's been very... tolerant... of elliebird's and my bouts of silliness, even participating in our 6 year old plays (they went on and on for hours) :)

And also incredibly musically talented (don't say shush to me, it's true!) and always pushing me to expand artistically and intellectually.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, thou art WIGGY!

-i got that last pic from facebook

Franklin Trip - Friday

Friday morning we headed off towards Nashville.

The view from my window on the way to Nashville.

A building in Nashville that I liked.

After lunch (at a brewery! it was so fun, I know how beer is made now.) we went to the park in Nashville

Everything was so pretty with the autumn leaves!

There was a big stage, and I couldn't resist the urge to dance on it. And we all know about my dancing skills. ;)

Yeah, so maybe I just told you we were in Nashville. We were really in Rome.

(post-edit: it has been pointed out that the parthenon is in greece. i knew this, in the back of my mind... which doesn't make me feel any less stupid.)

Just kidding, this is the Nashville Parthenon. It was huge, and it was awesome.

There was a huge art exhibit inside, including statues from the real Parthenon.

Oh yeah, and the Elgin Marbles (two horses heads) who I met at Lord Elgin's castle... he told me their names, one was Humphrey and the other I don't remember. It was funny seeing something I'd met and touched before ... in a museum.

Yes, she was that big. HUGE. I kept imagining what would happen if she came to life.

Me and my bro Leo, the winged beast of scariness. Just chillin.

Nice ancient artifact storage system, guys. Seriously.

FAIL.

Getting his hand bitten, a la Roman Holiday.

You can't tell, but we were doing the Wizard of Oz dance.

That evening we went to Franklin and had dinner at this really cool restaurant in a house next to the church. Everyone sits at a table together, and you get to meet people! There was this one very proper southern lady with huge hair who told us about how she worked one day a week at Stein Mart, and "that was socially acceptable."

After, at the film conference, I got to meet Dr. George! who is even more awe inspiring in person. That night's movie was "Dead Poets' Society" ... which I thought I'd seen all of, but apparently I had missed the ending and a lot of important parts in the middle. The theme of the conference was "Epistemology, or how we know what we know", and that was really interesting, seeing the different viewpoints in the movies. Dead Poets' Society was really interesting, because it shows 2 near opposite philosophies - romanticism and rationalism/traditionalism - and cautions that both are extremes.

Franklin Trip - Thursday Night in Memphis

We stopped in Memphis Thursday night and stayed at the Beauchamps... and we 5 went out at midnight to buy ... canned chili. Silliness ensued.

Franklin Trip - Thursday

On Thursday we packed up our bags and went our merry way to Memphis!

The view out the window the whole way to Memphis.

I decided to be annoying trip photographer and scare the driver... and this is his delightful road trip face.

Dr. George (the owl) and I in the back seat... we played I spy. He won. He was so awfully excited to meet his doppelganger and to go to Franklin!

And it seems I was rather excited also...

We stopped in Mt. Vernon for lunch... at this awesome place with a huge rooster on the roof. On the menu they had not a vegetable of the day, but a "Fried Vegetable of the Day", which of course I ordered. Fried okra, yum. And by the way, dear father wasn't spitting his roll out, though it sort of looks that way.

um... what?

i drove about 9 hours today. yech.

while i was driving i took some time to pray, asking God if i'm on the right path, if i'm heading towards the right things, planning the right plans... i asked for some sign that i'm doing the right thing...

... and then i got a speeding ticket.

ok. hmm. that's... weird. i never speed. i've never gotten a ticket.

... and then i saw a star drop and fall into the field next to me.

huh?!

i'm getting mixed messages!

--

(i'll write about the weekend of wonder soon, i'm too tired right now)

(and about the ticket... i'm going to try and hold off on the rant i'd like to go on, and spare you. but yes, i am annoyed.)